Sessyessence
by Spacewolf
Summary: (Complete) My first songfic! Sessy gets drunk and serenades Jaken. Ooh! I've rated it PG, because some lyrics are not nice, like calling Jaken a freak. I don't want kids to think it's okay to call people names, because calling someone names hurts! In
1. I'm Immortal

A/N Okay, this is my first song fic, so I'm asking everyone to be kind. Let's please

remember that Spacewolf has brought us all lots of joy with her Shenanigans Fic and her Deleted Scenes, so we don't really want to hurt her for mutilating songs. Eh heh!

Anyway. I love Evanescence and Sesshomaru so why not combine the two? I'd like everyone to keep in mind I don't actually have the song here to work with, so I can't try my own lyrics against the song itself so some parts might not go but if you have suggestions, review and let me know. I'd love your help!

I'd like to give a shout out to Super Ceech who was helping me with this idea. While making subs Wake Me Up Inside came on and I decided it was Sessy's theme song, and then she started to sing 'Jaken killed me inside' so Sessyessence was born. There will be other songs following including Wake me Up Inside and The Stalker Song (no idea what it's really called) I hope you enjoy it!

P.S. Sessyessence is copyrighted to me and so is Sesshomaru's bowl of scotch!

* * *

I'M IMMORTAL

Sesshomaru and Rin were wandering around one day, trying in vain to avoid Jaken, who persistently followed them. Finally, giving up the hope of ditching Jaken that day Sesshomaru grudgingly slowed down and allowed the toad to catch up with them.

"What shall we do now Master Sesshomaru?" he asked eagerly.

Sesshomaru looked around. He realized with a start that they had come across a Karaoke

bar.

'Bar,' he thought dispassionately. 'They have drinks in bars. Alcoholic drinks!'

He, without a word to his two companions entered the abr and found himself a stool at the actual bar itself. He grabbed the sleeves of the demon working the bar.

"Bring me a bowl of scotch!" he ordered.

"Master Sesshomaru! Master Sesshomaru! It's smoky in here! My asthma is acting up!"

wailed Jaken.

"Make it a double!" Sesshomaru grated, putting his face in his hands.

The demon nodded and brought back Sesshomaru a large stainless steel salad bowl of

scotch.

As he drank some nerdy demon got up and started singing to Chere's Shoop Shoop Song.

After several more bowls of stainless steel Sesshomaru was feeling much better. He could

almost drown out Jaken's annoying chatter now.

"Get off the stage you suck!" he called solemnly to a scantily clad female demon who

promptly burst into tears and ran off the stage.

"Hey that wasn't very nice!" the bartender admonished. "At least she was trying! All you're

doing is getting drunk!"

"My dear boy," Sesshomaru said feeling very friendly to this particular demon, as he was

the bringer of booze. "I'm not trying!" Sesshomaru picked up his current bowl of scotch and drank the last of it. "I am drunk!" he set his bowl down firmly with a clink. He rose slightly unsteadily to his feet, but still looking almost completely sober. "And since you seem to think that I am wasting space! I'll have to prove you wrong!"

He walked to the stage, lurching slightly every now and then. He climbed onto the stage

and picked up the microphone, before going to the Karaoke machine and selected a song. He stood in the center of the stage.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my dear friend Jaken!" he said to the crowd, meanwhile

thinking. 'How drunk am I? I just called Jaken my friend!'

Then the music started and he began to sing.

_I'm so tired of you being here_

_Suppressing my hope with childish fears_

_And since you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_Why in my presence do you linger here?_

_Will you please leave me alone?_

_This freak won't seem to leave!_

_He's here, it's just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When I cry you want to wipe away my tears_

_Now I scream, you're in all my fears_

_I'll hold Rin's hand through all of the years_

_But you still want_

_All of me_

_You still aggravate me_

_With your eyes reflecting light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you won't leave behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

_This freak won't seem to leave!_

_He's here, it's just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When I cry you want to wipe away my tears_

_Now I scream, you're in all my fears_

_I'll hold Rin's hand through all of the years_

_But you still want_

_All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell you to get gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_Wish I'd been alone all along_

_When I cry you want to wipe away my tears_

_Now I scream, you're in all my fears_

_I'll hold Rin's hand through all of the years_

_But you still want_

_All of me_


	2. Jaken Killed Me Inside

A/N Squee! The Next installment of Sessyessence! Aint's it great? I've got a couple more songs Sesshomaru has to do, but I would love some suggestions from loyal fans on what to do next! Hey TheVikingGal, what song would you like Jaken to do?

I'd like to thank TheVikingGal, Dragon Masters, D-E-V-L-41, someone, Calum and

Ceech for reviewing me even when the summery cut off. I don't why it doesn't tell me that it's cutting off there on my computer! It bugs me it does!

S'anyway (that's my word. I make words up. The english language need my help to

become cool!) Low and behold, the amazing second installment of Sessyessence.

* * *

JAKEN KILLED ME INSIDE

The crowd burst out into thunderous applause, Jaken clapping louder then anyone else, babbling to anyone who would listen that he was the 'friend' Sesshomaru had mentioned prior to his performance.

"Yay Fluffy-sama!" Rin called, clapping above her head. "Do it again Fluffy-Sama!"

"Yeah!" agreed the bartender. "Encore! Encore!"

The entire room took up the chant.

"Encore! Encore! Encore! Encore!"

Sesshomaru blinked owlishly at the assemblage and shrugged.

"Well if you insist," he answered. "I'll just have a look see at the ole karaoke machine thingy-me-doohicky-contraptatron!"

He peered into the screen of the Karaoke and chose another song.

"I hope you'll enjoy this next piece," he said straightening up and adjusting his Fluffy. He cleared his throat and began to sing for a second time.

How can you see with those huge eyes  
Like open sores?  
Oozing out from your very core.  
You're why I've become so numb.  
  
_Without a soul,  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,  
Until you take the hint and head back  
Home.  
  
(Shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(I can't shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from this dork.  
(Shake him)  
I'll make his blood run.  
(I can't shake him)  
Before I come undone.  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become.  
  
Now you know what I'm dealing with,  
You can't just leave me.  
Breathing in toxins so I do not feel.  
Use the Tensaiga to bring me to life.  
  
(Shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(I can't shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from this dork.  
(Shake him)  
I'll make his blood run.  
(I can't shake him)  
Before I come undone.  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become.  
  
Bring me to life.  
(Jaken's living a lie.  
He's put reality aside)  
Bring me to life.  
  
Frozen inside without your help,  
Without your aide, brother.  
Only I can bring you back from among the dead.  
  
(I ran from his sight,  
I can't believe he could see  
Hid in the dark  
but he was there in front of me)  
He's been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.  
Now he's opened his eyes to everything  
(Without a thought  
With that voice  
Without a soul  
Don't let me die here.  
There must be something more).  
Bring me to life.  
  
(Shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(I can't shake him)  
Jaken killed me up inside.  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from this dork.  
(Shake him)  
I'll make his blood run.  
(I can't shake him)  
Before I come undone.  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become.  
  
Bring me to life.  
(Jaken's living a lie. He's put reality aside)  
Bring me to life_

* * *

A/N This is also my word. Please ask my permission before using thingy-me-doohicky-contraptatron


	3. Holding Out for A Hanyou

A/N I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad girl! I couldn't resist! Suer Ceech suggested this to me because I've got an idea jsut tlak full of knavery for the enst song. And actually the next one. Tee hee! So I hope you'll enjoy it. I would like to say that while this was Super ceech's idea, I think 'I need a hanyou' was pretty clever. Maybe I'm self glorifying, but you gotta admit, it works! So yeah. Enjoy!

P.S. I couldn't resist throwing in a Shenanigans style Jaken moment

* * *

HOLDING OUT FOR A HANYOU

"Whoo! We love you master Sesshomaru!" Jaken called out, grabbing the hem of his shirt

and pulling it up.

Flashing Sesshomaru.

"Oh Jaken," Sesshomaru sighed, rubbing his forehead. "You know you're not allowed to flash people. Not since the 'Occasion.' That's also why you're not allowed to where my pants anymore coincidently!"

"Encore Master Sesshomaru! Encore!" Jaken called oblivious to his master's annoyance.

"I just did one!" Sesshomaru snapped. "I'm not a bloody juice box!"

"That's juke box!" someone in the front row cried. Sesshomaru drew his sword and slashed the man across the chest. There was a flash of pink light and the demon blinked repeatedly, looking a little nervous.

"Damn Tensaiga," Sesshomaru said, smacking the pommel of his sword with the heel of his convenient demon arm which he'd pilfered from a dragon. He rattled the sword by his ear. "Jaken! The sword won't kill people!"

"It's your healing sword Fluffy-Sama," Rin said happily. "It's the other sword that posses people and kills them!"

"Oh yes Rin," Sesshomaru remembered. He re-sheathed that sword. "That's why you're here!"

Rin beamed to Jaken, who crossed his arms and grumbled.

Sesshomaru drew the Tokijin and paused before swinging.

"I'm really sorry about the delay," he told the demon who'd corrected him.

"Hey don't worry about it," the demon shrugged.

Sesshomaru slashed, catching the demon across the chest. The demons grabbed his chest as blood began to pour out. He gave Sesshomaru a weak thumbs up.

"Nice swing there buddy!"

"Thank you," Sesshomaru said sheathing his sword again.

"Sing again Fluffy-sama!" Rin called. "I love to hear you sing1 it's like the angels!"

"Oh Rin!" Sesshomaru said, putting a hand to his pale cheek. "Look, you're making me blush!"

Sure enough, Sesshomaru had color in his face now.

"Well Rin, just one more song!" he decided, going to the karaoke machine to chose another song.

"Yay Fluffy-sama!" she sang.

Jaken looked from Rin to Sesshomaru in growing panic. He jumped off his stool and shouted, waving his arms in the air, "I think you're an angel too Master Sesshomaru!"

"D'uh," Sesshomaru moaned. "Ugh. Jaken!" Louder he called out to the crowd. "This is the last song!" he said firmly. "I can feel myself being to sober up and I don't want that. Scotch is the only thing that gives me true happiness!"

He stood in the center of the stage for a third time and began to sing yet again while the crowd sat with their expectant faces turned towards him.

_Where have all the good minions gone  
And where are all the gods?  
Where's the street-wise yukai  
To fight the rising odds?  
Isn't there a white haired demon, who isn't afraid to bleed  
Late at night my stomach turns, because I know just what I need  
  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta beat Jaken in a fight  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And I need him to regain my life!  
  
Somewhere after the sword  
In his wildest frenzy  
Somewhere just beyond my reach  
There's someone who can set me free_

_He's beaten the thunder and he can stand the heat  
It's gonna take a halfman to get rid of this freak!  
  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta beat Jaken in a fight  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And I need him to regain my life!_

_I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the end of the night_

_I stand where the mountains meet the heavens above  
Out where the lightning splits the sea_

_I would swear that Jaken is somewhere  
Watching me  
  
Through the wind and the chill and the rain  
And the storm and the flood  
I can feel his approach  
Like an illness of the blood  
  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta beat Jaken in a fight  
I need a hanyou  
Because I'm hiding out here 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And I need him to regain my life!_

* * *

A/N Some valid points about Jaken being easily beaten in a fight and well... it makes sense, I swear!


	4. I Can Be Your Hero

A/N I'm so sorry about my last A/N. Especially this little bit right here "Suer Ceech suggested this to me because I've got an idea jsut tlak full of knavery for the enst song" I'm afraid that I inadvertently slipped back into my native alien tongue. Sorry about that folks. So yeah! Having lots of fun! Eh hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! Thanks for your reviews they really make my low self esteem rise! LOL!

Thanks to all reviewers and D-E-V-L-41, you don't think Jaken flashing Sesshomaru happens everyday? How wrong you are!

Smacky, I'd love to IM you, but I'm not allowed to have IM because that's where the perverts are. My mommy said so, so it must be true! sigh Yes I am a goody-goody, but if you give me your e-mail we could talk that way. ! (looks stoned doesn't he? I mean he was supposed to look happy, but nah. It's not working!)

Hey. Idea! If anyone can decipher my alien babble, I'll write a chapter with your favorite song in it! For any chars you want! Eh? Eh? Eh?

The sweet-tart container is copyrighted to me as well. Why? Because I can't copyright the chars, so I'll just copyright words and inanimate objects and hope they'll fill the void. sniff

* * *

I CAN BE YOUR HERO

When Sesshomaru stopped the crowd began to applaud again. No one else called for an encore however. The corpse in the front row was a reminder that Sesshomaru didn't like to be told to do things he didn't want to.

He descended the stage and headed back towards the bar and ordered another bowl of scotch.

The bar tender had just brought his drink when Rin said, with a big grin, "Look Fluffy-Sama! Jaken wants to sing too!"

Sesshomaru turned around and stared in horror as Jaken began to struggle to lower to mike so he could sing into it. He clutched it with both hands.

"This is for you Master Sesshomaru!" he said breathlessly.

"Oh bloody hell!" Sesshomaru swore. He thunked his head against the bar counter and held out his hand. "Rin. Give daddy his pills!"

Rin handed Sesshomaru a plastic sweet-tart container about half the size of his palm.

Sessy opened it and began to drop pills into his bowl of scotch, while saying, in a resigned voice. "Some Advil, a little Tylenol," he sprinkled the pills. He grabbed a syringe. "A squirt of morphine..." He grabbed some more pills from the sweet-tart container. "Some Valium. Prozac. One or two acid tablets." He pulled a box of baking soda from the sweet-tart container and next a spoon. "A heaping helping of antacid." He set that down and grabbed a large bottle of pills out of the sweet-tart container. "A handful of Tums to avoid heart burn." He rummaged through the sweet-tart container looking for the next ingredient to add. "And just to be fun, about eight sugar pills."

When he'd completed added all his pills to the bowl of scotch. They floated around the top, looking like bizarrely shaped vegetables in a bowl of strange soup.

Sesshomaru picked it up and drank the entire bowl in one go.

He set it down firmly and licked his lips.

"Ah yes," he said. "Much better!"

And he promptly fell of his stool.

Jaken stood on his toes, scanning the crowd anxiously. He was too short to see where Master Sesshomaru had gone. Hoping his Master could hear him anyway.

"Master Sesshomaru. I can't be your hanyou!" he called into the crowd. "But I can be your hero!"

Sesshomaru pulled himself from the floor and looked at Jaken over the crowd.

"I may be drunk Jaken, but I'm not yet drunk enough for that to appeal to me!" he responded.

Jaken gathered up his courage and began to sing in a voice, perfect for a boy band.

_Would you dance,  
if I asked you to dance?  
Why do you run,  
and never look back?  
Would you still cry,  
if you saw me coming?  
And would you save my soul, tonight?  
  
Would you tremble,  
if I touched your Fluffy?  
Would you laugh?  
Oh don't be so stuffy.  
Now would you die,  
Is Rin the only one you love?  
Hold me in your arms, tonight.  
  
I can be your hero, Master.  
You can kill me again and again.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can't chase me away.  
  
Would you swear,  
that you'll always be mine?  
Or would you lie?  
Will you still run and hide?  
Is it because you're too deep?  
Master, have you lost your mind?_

_I don't care...  
You're here, tonight.  
  
I can be your hero, Master.  
You can kill me again and again.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can't chase me away..  
  
Oh, I just wanna to hold you.  
I just wanna to hold you.  
Oh yeah.  
Are you just too deep?  
Master, have you lost your mind?  
Well I don't care...  
You're here, tonight.  
  
I can be your hero, Master.  
You can kill me again and again.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can't chase me away.  
  
I can be your hero, Master.  
You can kill me again and again.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can't chase me away.  
You can't chase me away.  
You can't chase me away!!!_

* * *

A/N That's starting to sound like threat isn't it?


	5. GoGo

A/N This is for you Calum. You translated my garbled alien text! Thanks for your reviews and I was just listening to my Shania Twain CD and I think I know what the next one is going to be.... eh heh! But who to sing it?

Any way. Ladies and gentlemen, behold, Go-Go as sung by Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku. (I usually refer to Ginta and Hakkaku as friend/minion/henchman one and friend/minion/henchman two, but since this is for Calum, I'll call them by their names.

P.S. In the story some letters will be capitalized without being someone';s name or the beginning of a sentence. I know. They're supposed to be there. You put more emphasis on them that way!

chirp chirp

* * *

GO-GO

Jaken glared at the crowd which was dead silent except for the crickets. Huffing he put the microphone back in it's place and hurried down the stairs.

"That was kind of creepy," someone said.

"Yeah, makes me glad I'm dead," agreed the demon Sesshomaru had killed with the Tokijin.

"Hey, if you're dead why are still talking?" his friend asked him.

The dead demon paused to consider that.

"Now that's a very interesting question," he mused. "Why am I still talking?"

"Maybe you're being forced to suffer as I am!" Sesshomaru suggested from the bar hunched over his latest bowl of scotch.

"Why are you punishing me?" the demon lord demanded all the forces of the universe. "Why? What have I done to deserve this torment?" He paused. "Oh right. The sins." He looked at his bowl of scotch and shook his head slowly.

The door to the bar burst open and there stood Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku. They marched in, giving everyone dark stares as if they wanted to unleash ravenous wolves on their children.

"You!" Kouga said pointing to Sesshomaru. "Have you seen your brother?"

"My brother?" Sesshomaru asked. "Oh yes! He's at the place by the thing!"

"I think you've had enough," the bartender said, reaching out to take his bowl.

"I'll tell you when I've had enough!" Sesshomaru snapped.

"Listen, buddy," the bartender said gently. "Look at the girl. She's drunk off the fumes!"

Sure enough Rin was staggering about like a drunken sailor.

"What'er yoUuuuu lookin' at?" she demanded Jaken who'd come back to his seat. She held up her fists and swung and missed.

"And she's a mean drunk," the bar tender continued. "Maybe you should take her home!"

"Oh fine!" Sesshomaru said rising. He grabbed Rin's hand as she began to beat Jaken with his staff. "Come along young lady, I'm calling you a cab!"

"Yeah?" she slurred. "Well yer a haTCH-back!"

"Lord Sesshomaru wait for me!" Jaken cried frantically jumping up and running out after him.

Kouga looked around and shrugged.

"Give me your finest grog!" Kouga ordered.

"We got beer," the bartender said flatly.

"Oh. Migod!" exclaimed Hakkaku. "Look! A karaoke machine!"

"No way!" Ginta exclaimed. "Can we Kouga? Please?"

"Well I suppose," Kouga said indulgently walking with them up to the stage. "Well now let's see which song should we do?"

After several minutes of debating they decided on one and struck dramatic boyband poses in front of the microphone.

_Here I am_

_It's Friday night_

_I'm feeling good_

_The time is right_

_There she comes_

_Right out the well_

_And all that I can say is_

_I want you to know_

_That I can steal your girl_

_Kagome lets go_

_I want her to see_

_I'm really beatin' you so_

_You're not beatin' me_

_I want you to know_

_That I can rock you baby_

_With the lights down low_

_I want her to see_

_I'm really beatin' you so_

_You're not beatin' me_

_Go Go_

_So you think you got it all together_

_Before you make a move_

_'Cause the drop is steep_

_Don't you know that I can_

_Love her better?_

_So give her up, go home_

_And let us sleep_

_I want you to know_

_That I can steal your girl_

_Kagome lets go_

_I want her to see_

_I'm really beatin' you so_

_You're not beatin' me_

_I want you to know_

_That I can rock you baby_

_With the lights down low_

_I want her to see_

_I'm really beatin' you so_

_You're not beatin' me_

_Go Go_

_I must have been mistaken for another_

_You over looked the fact you're not_

_Your older brother_

_Don't you know the_

_girl-she wants me_

_So look in the other direction and go_

_and get some_

_Go Go..._


	6. Rock Naraku

A/N I'm going to start a more serious A/U story. I'm going to post a summery pretty soon, and some character crap for you to browse through if you're interested. If you are! Super! If you're not, well, sniff. I'll get by!

* * *

ROCK NARAKU

Miroku stuck his head into the abr and looked around. He sighed to himself and walked to the bar to watch the crowd.

"Hey Miroku," the bar tender greeted him.

"Hey Scary Ned," Miroku greeted the abr tender. "Did I just see Kouga and two of his men leave just now?"

"Yeah," Scary Ned, the bartender confirmed. "They came in looking for Sesshomaru's brother, but when they left they were talking about going after someone named Naraku."

"Ah that's right," Miroku nodded. "Naraku's daughter... er spawn Kagura killed a bunch of his men. I think he has a vendetta."

"Yeah, this Naraku guy isn't making any friends," Scary Ned agreed.

"Oh he is," Miroku snickered. "That's what Kagura, Kanna, Kageromaru and Jeromaru are!"

"So you looking for someone to bear your child?" Scary Ned asked him shrewdly.

"Twenty four seven," Miroku confirmed, looking around. "No one looks drunk enough to accept yet!"

Scary Ned shrugged and began to wipe the bar. Miroku shrugged and rested his staff against the counter.

"Well, I guess I'll go sing a few dirges and wait for Mrs. Right to appear," Miroku decided.

"What if she doesn't?" Scary Ned asked him dryly.

"Then I'll settle for Mrs. Right Now," Miroku replied.

He stepped onto the stage and adjusted the mike and then picked a song.

_I woke up this morning with a thought rollin' 'round in my brain  
I haven't been drinkin' but the thought's pretty good just the same  
It must be contagious-looks like it's goin' around  
It's cool once you catch it-you want to beat Naraku to the ground  
C'mon, c'mon-He got something started  
C'mon, c'mon-So let's start something now  
  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Every hanyou boy every Miko girl  
Gotta really get the psycho who looks like a girl  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Right out of this world  
Nah-ra koo-na-na-na...  
  
From Sango to Shippou, Inuyasha, The Wolf Pack too  
Or Kagome, no matter when you live-this buzz is for you  
  
C'mon, c'mon-He got something started  
C'mon, c'mon-So let's start something now  
  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Every bewitched boy every slayer girl  
Gotta really get the psycho who looks like a girl  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Right out of this world  
Nah-ra koo-na-na-na...  
  
Nah-ra koo-na-na-na...  
  
He's lusting after power  
Hoping the Shikon will be found  
He's coming in your direction  
His kids are headin' to your town  
They're kickin' up dust  
Blowin' off steam  
Things get nuts now  
Everybody screams  
  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Every foxling boy every red eyed girl  
Gotta really get the psycho who looks like a girl  
We're gonna rock Naraku  
Right out of this world  
Nah-ra koo-na-na-na..._

"Yah!" Miroku gave the crowd a triumphant devil horns. "Anyone out there who wants to bear my child?" he called. He paused as several hands began to wave furiously in the air. "Any females who want to bear my child?"

The hands disappeared and someone else put their hands up.

"Oh wait no," the female demon replied pulling her arm back down quickly. Miroku sighed heavily and trudged off the stage dejectedly.


	7. Dumb

A/N I finally updated. Took me forever and a day! I'm sorry for everyone out there in cyber land, staying up till three in the morning, bitting the fingernails, watching the screen desperately for my to update. I understand several of you have attempted suicide without my wonderful Sessyessence and for that I am sorry! I'd like to thank KBMaster for this suggestion and I'd love to thank everyone who keeps suggesting songs! If I don't pick them it doesn't mean I don't understand where you're coming from, it's just some songs take more work to convert for this then others and sometimes I just can't make them work. But keep suggesting song, I appreciate it greatly! I've never actually heard Numb and if I have I don't remember so I hope the words work! Forgive me for delaying this! Please, enjoy!

P.S. the two rabid fangirls are copyrighted to me. We've been over this before, there's a void in my soul that slowly fills with the pus of my despair and I hope that by copyrighting random object and filler chars to me that someday the empty void may be filled and I will once again have a reason to live!

* * *

NUMB

"Did I forget my fluffy?" Sesshomaru asked, sticking his head into the bar and looking around owlishly.

"Nope," Scary Ned answered casually.

"But I can't find it anywhere!" Sesshomaru said thoughtfully.

"Is it on your shoulder?" Miroku asked trying to be helpful.

Sesshomaru stepped into the bar and stared at his shoulder for a long time. His fluffy was indeed absent form it's normal spot of glory.

Two fan girls in the back of the room burst into tears at the sight of him there fluff-less. The two jumped up and declared for all the world to hear in brave, but quavering voices, "We will not rest until your fluffy has been found!"

Then they ran from the bar, sobbing wildly to find the fluffy and hide their tears. Sesshomaru shrugged and then looked mournfully at his shoulder.

"I miss my fluffy," he said to himself. "It was so beautiful and I never got to say goodbye!"

"Well don't be sad," Scary Ned advised. "Why don't you sing us another song? It'll make you feel better!"

"Yeah!" agreed the demon Sesshomaru had slashed before singing 'Holding out for a Hanyou.'

"You aren't dead yet?" Sesshomaru asked him mournfully.

"Guess not," the demon shrugged.

"I'm a bad, bad fighter," Sesshomaru drawled sadly, sitting on the stage and resting his head in his hands. "Why must I fail at everything I attempt?"

"Hey," said the should-be-dead demon. "If it'll make you feel better, you kill me again!"

Sesshomaru looked up between his fingers hopefully. "Really?" he asked perking up slightly.

"Sure," the should-be-dead demon confirmed. He lumbered unsteadily to his feet and held his arms open. "Free shot!"

Sesshomaru drew the Tokijin and slashed him across the chest.

He sheathed the sword and smiled faintly as the other demon fell over, giving him a thumbs up.

"Nicely done!" the should-be-dead demon rasped.

"You know," Sesshomaru said, sounding much better. "I think I will sing another song!"

He got on the stage he'd been sitting on seconds before and grabbed the mike.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to a very special lady in my life. KBMaster!"

"Who's she?" Miroku asked, looking up hopefully.

"Damned if I know!" Sesshomaru shrugged. "But here it is, for you! GetThereFaster!!"

"KBMaster!" corrected Scary Ned.

"Whatever," Sesshomaru shrugged.

_I'm tired of you being the first thing I see_

_Feeling so listless, dodging your embrace  
I don't know what you're expecting to see  
I've turned to pills and made friends with booze_

_(Find the happy place, just find your happy place)  
Every step that I take is another mistake with you  
  
How'd you become so dumb  
I can still see you there  
I became so tired, so much more aware  
I'm becoming pissed, all I want to do  
Is spend more time with Rin and less with you!  
  
Can't you see that I'm smothering you?  
Holding too tightly, afraid to let go  
Letting you live is the last thing I wanna do_

_I'm falling apart, right in front of you  
(Find the happy place, just find your happy place)  
Every step that I take is another followed by you  
(Find the happy place, just find your happy place)  
An' every second with you is more than I can take  
  
How'd you become so dumb  
I can still see you there  
I became so tired, so much more aware  
I'm becoming pissed, all I want to do  
Is spend more time with Rin and less with you!  
  
And I know  
I may end up failing too  
But I know  
They'd be like me  
Followed by someone like you!  
  
How'd you become so dumb  
I can still see you there  
I became so tired, so much more aware  
I'm becoming pissed, all I want to do  
Is spend more time with Rin and less with you!  
  
You've  
Become so dumb  
I can still see you there  
I'm tired of you being the first thing I see  
I'm tired of you being the first thing I see_


	8. Naked

A/N My little brother took back his discman and I was reduced to using my old walkman and the only tape I could find. Spice Girls. Since everyone seems so found of Jaken singing rather, unnerving songs to Sessy, I thought maybe you would be placated with this one. It's naked, as song by Jaken to Sesshomaru. Enjoy!

* * *

NAKED

"Master Sesshomaru, Master Sesshomaru!" Jaken wailed running into the bar. Sesshomaru looked around for a place to hide, but for lack of anything better, he ducked behind the microphone.

"Master Sesshomaru!" Jaken wailed. "I heard the terrible news! You can't find your fluffy!"

"Uh yes," Sesshomaru agreed, peeking around behind the microphone.

"I'll make it all better!" Jaken promised. "I'm going to sing to you because music soothes th savage beast!"

He fluttered his eyes at Sesshomaru and hurried up to the stage.

Sesshomaru jumped off the stage and hurried to the bar.

"Don't you want to be on stage while I serenade you?" Jaken asked, pouting.

"No," Sesshomaru replied. "No Jaken I really don't!"

"This is for my master Sesshomaru!" Jaken declared to the bar. "To the best master ever!" He face went dark. "Of course things were much better before that eight year-old hussy Rin showed up! Oh she thinks she's so clever, what with her picking flowers and innocence1 but I know better! I know she wants Master Sesshomaru! Well she can't have him! There's only one woman who can love Master Sesshomaru in this entire world! And I killed her, so he belongs to me!"

chirp chirp again with crickets  
Jaken cleared his throat uncomfortably and struck a pose on stage and began to sing.

_Naivety and childhood left behind deprived of the goodness of mankind,  
Past encounters should have left Rin dead, but Sesshomaru intervened instead_

_Undress you with my eyes, uncover your personality from where it lies,  
Strip you down don't need to care, your fluffy is gone, exposed and bare_

_Naked  
Nothing but a smile upon her face  
Naked  
She wants to play seek and hide, I may be small, but I'm not blind  
Naked  
This minion has fallen from grace  
Naked_

_Don't be afraid Sessy, don't be shaken  
Rin knows exactly how to manipulate men like you,  
But inside out in my mind there's no clue where you're coming from  
The Mystery will turn me on._

_Undress you with my eyes, uncover your personality from where it lies,  
Strip you down don't need to care, your fluffy is gone, exposed and bare_

_Naked  
Nothing but a smile upon her face  
Naked  
She wants to play seek and hide, I may be small, but I'm not blind  
Naked  
This minion has fallen from grace  
Naked  
Don't be afraid to stare I'm only naked_

_(A conversation between Jaken and Sesshomaru)  
Hello, its me  
I thought you'd understand  
Well maybe I should have kept my mouth shut  
But she kept painting such stupid pictures  
But I'd rather be pitied then hated  
Licking me will increase your imagination  
I want to dip you brie_

_This minions's dirty face is sore, holding on to what he had before.  
Sess doesn't share secrets with any old fool, Master Sesshomaru can be so cruel  
I want to get naked!  
I want to get naked!_

_Naked  
Nothing but a smile upon her face  
Naked  
She wants to play seek and hide, I may be small, but I'm not blind  
Naked  
This minion has fallen from grace  
Naked  
Don't be afraid to stare I'm only naked_

_A/N, listen, about these lines:_

_Licking me will increase your imagination  
I want to dip you brie_

* * *

A/N: Someone said something about Jaken licking himself to hallucinate and that's where that came from. The whole dipping Sess in Brie, which is a kind of cheese. I wish I could explain that I really do. But alas. Sorry. Don't hate me because I've got a warped mind! Sorry for mistakes, hot of the press!


	9. I'm sorry

A/N Hey guys. Sorry I've been so long in updating. I got my first real flame a while ago and I've been thinking. I guess some of you really want my story to have a plot. I just wanted it to be a happy, fun go lucky story without any real plot. But if you want one then I'll try and put one in for you guys. Super Ceech and Calum and I have been racking our brains to try and come up with a plot we could use. I'll try and post the out line for you soon and you guys can tell me what you think. I'm really sorry you guys don't like my story anymore.

I check that email more often because Spacewolf is just my fanfic address. So email your ideas to me for the plot or comments on the story. Sorry again. I guess the idea just got old. Thanks for bearing with me!

Here's Inuyasha singing Who let the dogs out, as requested by someone without a name. I hope you enjoy it! P.S. I didn't change the lyrics, I just didn't really have the heart to!

* * *

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT

Inuyasha looked around, seeing no one, he quickly stripped off all his clothes and left them scattered on the river bank. Even a hanyou needed to bathe after all. He jumped into the water and swam around for a minute or two.

He'd been listening to Kagome's magical singing box, and now he had a song stuck in his head.

Piling his white hair on top his head to wash all the blood out of it.

_Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
  
The party was nice, the party was pumpin'  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
And everybody havin' a ball  
Hey hey  
Yepee Ah Yo  
Till them man them start they name callin'  
Yepee Ah Yo  
Then them girls respond to the call  
I hear a woman shout out……_

_Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
  
Last year in the dance you had a ball  
You call me millibug and skettell  
Get back gruffy, mash scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel  
  
Now I tell meh self dem man go get angry  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
To hear dem girls callin' them canine  
Yepee Ah Yo  
But they say hey man dat is part of the party  
Ah Yepee Ah Yo  
Them woman in front and they man behind  
I hear a woman shout out……  
  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
  
Ah doggie is nuttin' if he don' have a bone  
All doggie hold your bone  
All doggie hold it  
Ah doggie is nuttin' if he don' have a bone  
All doggie hold your bone  
All doggie hold it  
  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof  
Who let the dogs out  
  
Last year in the dance you had a ball  
You call me millibug and skettell  
Get back fluffy, mash scruffy  
Get back you flea infested mongrel  
_  
Inuyasha had finished washing his hair and he let it fall back down. He grabbed a floating

stick and began to rap into it.  
  
_If I was a dog  
The party is on  
I gotta get my groove on  
'Cause my mind done gone  
Can't you see the rays comin' from my eyes  
Walkin' through the place like Digi-man  
Breakin' it down  
Me and my white tail  
Short coat  
Can't see color  
Any color will do  
I'll stick on you  
That's why they call me pit bull  
'Cause I'm the man of the land when they see me  
They say oooooh_

He trailed off and stared into the woods where he saw Kikyo watching him with avid interest. Inuyasha felt his face flush a deep red, the same colour as his fire rat robe.

"GET OUTTA HERE!" he screamed crossing his arms over his chest. "YOU LECH!"


	10. The plot thickens, I mean approaches!

A/N Okay ladies and gentlemen who like Sessyessence. Are you prepared for the plot? This is a little roughed out plan Calum the Angel and Super Ceech and I have been working on and we really hope you enjoy it! This is just an outline so you can tell me what you think about it! Remember, I was flamed, my self esteem dropped ten points, she/he said I needed a plot!

Okay, here it is.

Blinded by sadness over the loss of his Fluffy Sessy gets even drunker and pops even more pills then he has already and then proceeds to have a wild one night stand. (No Sess fans it isn't with you!)

Meanwhile, the two fan girls have located his fluffy. But Naraku in a fit of jealous rage, because he doesn't have a pretty fluffy has cursed it so whoever touches it will become hanyou. He was intending for Sesshomaru to touch it and become hanyou, but the girls found it first. Now that they're hanyous they want to be Sessy's harem!

Rin, who had been left alone is wandering around, trying to find some pretty flowers to make Sesshomaru feel better. She stumbled across a very pretty purple flower with a golden stem. She picks it, but she passes out when she inhales some of it's spores.

The mix of the magical flower's spores and the scotch fumes which have soaked into her skin from Sesshomaru's compulsive drinking have a strange mix and she turns into a hanyou. But she ages eight years, so she's now a sixteen year-old hanyou with an eight year old mentality. She goes in search of Sesshomaru in hopes of becoming his mate.

Rin and the two fan girls battle violently for the honor of returning the fluffy to Sessy and becoming his mate and or harem.

Miroku fixed the wind tunnel in his hand by seducing Naraku, but by some weird twist of fate, they fall madly and passionately in love and Naraku becomes Miroku's bitch.

This enables Kagura to finally go off and marry Bobby (see deleted scenes for reference). Kanna develops a personality and then falls madly and passionately in love with Kohaku, but alas it is not to be because Kohaku is madly and passionately in love with Sango, who in return has fallen deeply in love Myouga.

Kouga falls into a very deep pit and is never seen from again, Ayame becomes a show girl, Kouga's wolf pack become a cult of cross dressers (no offence meant to cross dressing cults). Inuyasha, despite the love and hope that a life with Kagome promises decides to go to hell with Kikyo who is secretly banging Bobby, Kagura's man.

Kagome returned to her own time and is engaged to Hojo within the week. Her father returns, but it seems he left the family to have a sex change and is now her second mother. Hojo has lost his job, and to support Kagome has taken to closet pimping and his most popular bee-otch is Kagome's father/second mother.

Jaken, during all this has gone into hiding in shame.

The wild one night stand with Sesshomaru had strange repercussions and he is now bearing Sessy's child. Jaken gives birth to a fully formed, fully clothed, absolutely sinfully gorgeous young man with flowing blond hair and deep, deep blue eyes you just drown in.

Enraged at Sessy's treatment of Jaken, his mother, this boy goes in search of his father to make him pay. Unfortunately, along the way he accidently slips into the pool of transformation and turns into a really, really hot girl.

Well he, now officially a she finds her father, singing 'nobody knows the trouble I seen,' on a tall rock and she falls madly and passionately in love with him. When her affections are spurned she blasts her energy at the mountain, which is still burning in Kagome's time.

Rin and the two fan girls finally decided they can all bang Sessy together! Calling a truce they give Sessy his fluffy. But instead of turning into a hanyou, he turns into a chibi, which greatly disappointed his fan girls. For, as we all know, chibies are cute, but alas, undoable (if you catch my drift!).

At the end, all the wrongs, and misdeed and tangles in this web are discovered and with much weeping and wailing and reminiscing and teary eyed reunions. The story ends when they are crushed by a meteor and die.

Except Kouga.

He fell into a pit and was never seen from again.

Except the mole people.

He became their king.

Is that better?

It has a plot now? That makes it good right?

Right?

Right?

Answer me dammit!


	11. I'm On My Way To Hell

A/N I'm sorry for any undo stress my last update may or may not have caused you all. For you see, as some of you may or may not be aware, I did receive a flame, and I was quite shocked and rather annoyed. For you see ladies and gentlemen not only was I flamed, but I was flamed in a poem! That's right someone sat down and wrote me a little poem! And their bio is a poem! If you would like to see these poems please read the A/N at the bottom fo the page. P.S. My response will be there.

* * *

I'M ON MY WAY TO HELL

The door to the karoke bar burst open and Kikyo stood in the doorway, her soul eaters coiling about her. She marched up to the bar and ordered a shot. She down with the grim determination of a woman who was dead set on getting drunk.

She took three more shots, downing them each and slamming the shot glass back on the counter.

"Damn Inuyasha!" she muttered. "I swear to god he'll come with me to hell!"

"I miss my fluffy," Sessy said sniffing, a huge tear slid down his face.

_All fan girls everywhere are suddenly stricken, falling over screaming because their beloved Sessy is in pain _

"What makes him think he can just forget me for her?" Kikyo demanded.

"I'll never forget my fluffy," Sesshomaru continued.

"I mean, I'm not only made of clay, but I'm older!" she turned to Sesshomaru and pointed a finger at him. "I defy you to name one thing sexier then a chick pushing a hundred made out of clay and stolen souls!"

"Fluffies are sexier!" Sesshomaru burst out. He jumped to his feet and ran out of the abr crying. Every girl in the bar jumped up to follow him out.

Kikyo looked at the rest of his bowl of scotch and with a shrug, she downed it. She blinked owlishly as a funny feeling went through her. Suddenly, a feeling inside her began to unfurl which she could not explain. She staggered up to the stage and adjusted the mike. After kicking Jaken (who'd fallen to his knees wailing because Sessy was in pain) across the room.

She unbound her hair and ran her fingers through it. She head banged, flipping her hair several times.

"Alright, listen up," she said. "When the strands of fate have become entangled by the clumsy weaver the loom must be dismantled before destiny can proceed with her ever flowing, ever changing course of moon beams and misty dreams!"

Everyone just stared as Kikyo began to sing.

_He's living easy, living free  
I'm his ticket to a one-way ride  
Asking him to come follow me  
Asking him to leave it all behind  
Don't have a reason, don't need rhyme  
Ain't nothing I would rather do  
Going down, party time  
Inuyasha's gonna be there too  
  
I'm on my way to hell  
  
No stop signs, speed limit  
No reincarnation's gonna slow me down  
Like a wheel, gonna spin it  
Nobody's gonna miss me around  
Hey Satan, payin' my dues  
Don't blame me cause my voice is bland  
Hey Inuyasha, follow me  
We're on our way to the promised land  
  
I'm on my way to hell  
(Follow me)  
  
And I'm going down, all the way down  
I'm on my way to --_

Kikyo trailed off, staring at her fingers in awe.

"My god, I have huge hands!" she exclaimed staring at them as if entranced. "My hands are like boxing gloves! And they can touch everything but themselves!"

She put her hands together and started laughing.

"Dude they can do that too!" She staggered off the stage, staring at her hands. "I gotta get me some of whatever that dude was drinking!"

* * *

A/N This is for people who want to know what I'm talking about. Below is the Bio of the Clown, the person who flames in rhyme.

**_I'm the clown who came to town  
to review your stories or shoot them down!  
Good or bad i'll read them all  
but if it sucks, i'll hit the wall!  
  
Flaming is my ultimate deed  
but only stories that are bad, indeed.  
If your story is off the chain  
compliments will surly rain!  
  
So if you came wondering why  
i flamed your story, by and by  
then please understand, dear "friend"  
you sure as hell made my sanity bend!_**__  
---The Clown---

This is the flame I got.

**_I'm the clown who came to town  
to flame your story to the ground  
this is what you call a story?  
i hope this isn't you in your best glory.  
  
You see, the art of writing is this  
a pen, some paper, and an authors true bliss.  
However, there are other key elements in hand  
lacking these make a stor, nothing but bland.  
  
A plot, some meaning, something that goes deeper.  
Something that makes your story a keeper!  
This story has nothing but OOC dorks.  
Might as well spoon them with dull plastic sporks.  
  
Do not take my words as pain,  
rather use them to your own gain!  
Those simple things are all you lack,  
add them in, and i'll be back._**

--- The Clown---

**_So, I've made your sanity bend?_**

**_Then I've achieved my devious end!_**

**_I'm not here to make a whole lot of sense._**

**_I much prefer to deal in nonsense!_**

**_I'm not changing it, not one damn thing!_**

**_Sorry if the retort makes your ego sting._**

**_If you don't like it, then please don't read it. _**

**_Thanks for the critique, but I don't really need it!_**

**_I like it just fine and many others do too._**

**_It's not going to change on account of you._**

**_Your bad mouthing my OOC dorks?_**

**_Okay then. What the hell is a spork?_**

**_If your quirky little rhyming bliss_**

**_Is to find those with stories you dis,_**

**_Then please, you're not wanted 'round town._**

**_I don't mean to be mean, but don't push me, clown!_**

**_I hope you don't do this to everyone,_**

**_Because it's really just not fun._**

**_So if you could all please remember,_**

**_A flame no one cares about is just an ember._**

**_It's not your right to chose which stories to axe,_**

**_It's not your place to decide what an author lacks._**

**_So, I hope we have reached some sort of accord._**

**_So please don't feel bad if here you're ignored._**

**_I have a message too for one, and it's a message for all,_**

**_If you can't rhyme something nice, don't rhyme anything at all!_**

**_This story of mine will stay on it's track, _**

**_So please dear God, don't come back!_**

---Spacewolf---

P.S What part of 'Sessy gets drunk and serenades Jaken' made you think a plot was even on my radar screen? I hope I"m not being overly bitchy, but if you're going to flame _me_, flame me on stuff that has relevance to _my_ story! Critiquing the plot makes no sense for this story because it obviously has none. If you wanted to say something about how I change songs, that's fine? Maybe even complaining about me totally killing one of your favorite songs works because that's a valid point! I am musically challenged so it makes sense some of my alterations might suck it up! But ragging on OOC dorks and the plot? Do you want me to put a warning in my summery? Because I thought Sessy serenading Jaken made it pretty evident it wasn't going to make a lot of sense! /rant

P.P.S The irony of responding to the flame is rhyme has not entirely escaped me. Call it poetic justice. Get it?

Eh?

Eh?

Yeah I'll shut up now!

Tune in next time and watch or rather read about Naraku shaking his groove thang!

P.P.P.S. I'm serious people. What's a spork? It sounds like a name from a really bad, bad, sci-fi movie. Yes I'm hick. Now. What's a spork?


	12. Man, I Look Like A Woman!

A/N I was disturbed how easily this one turned out. I was laying in bed one day when this song came on the radio and the next thing I know.... ye-ah. I assume Naraku must get sick and tired of being mistaken for a woman all the time so yeah. Tell me what you think!

I need your help loyal readers, I just fond a most awesome song, to be sung to Naraku, but I need someone to sing it! Someone who will be seriously creeped out at his girlishness. Please help me!

* * *

MAN I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this!" Naraku grated as Kanna dragged him into the karaoke bar. "It's the pastime of hicks and yokels!"

"Come on," she ordered in her emotionless voice. "It's fun."

Naraku had dressed carefully for the evening. Wearing jeans (don't know where he got them) and a tight white shift which showed off his muscles and the fact he was boobless. It still hadn't stopped everyone from calling him ma'am and one woman saying in a hushed tone that she knew a place where he could get implants for a low price.

Naraku rolled his eyes as Kanna pulled him to the bar and ordered a drink in an authoritative voice.

"I'll have a grave digger Scary Ned," she said. She caught sight of Naraku. "And by grave digger I mean chocolate milk," she corrected.

"I'll have what's she's having," Naraku said.

Two big burly, obviously manly men entered the abr and spotted Naraku and Kanna at the bar. They elbowed one another and grinned before approaching with the slow practiced lumbering movements of real men!

"We'll have a Molsen a piece eh?" said one in a rumbling voice. He leaned on the abr next to Naraku. "I'm Canadian eh?" he said. "We just finished clear cutting British Columbia and so we thought we'd come back to feudal Japan and clear cut all your tree eh?"

Naraku smiled politely but didn't respond.

"So eh," he said, edging closer. "Like what's your sign?"

Naraku frowned in confusion.

"Like, don't be shy eh!" the big burly lumberjack said, still edging closer and closer. Naraku was steadily edging away, looking around for some sort of assistance.

Kanna was intent on her mirror, applying makeup which made her seem older. Scary Ned was getting their drinks and the rest of the bar was hanging on every soulful word of a young spindly spider demon singing, 'Don't Let Your Mom Go Down On Me!'

"So eh, come here often?" the lumber jack continued.

"No," Naraku replied in his deep manly voice.

The lumber jack blinked.

"You got a sexy voice eh?" he said undeterred.

Naraku frowned and grabbed his drink he shook his head and started drinking, to buy himself time from answering.

'Usually actually saying something make them leave me alone!' he thought to himself. 'This one must be especially love starved I'll have too...'

He jerked wildly, spilling his drink all over his front.

He slowly, and stiffly lowered his eyes to the lumberjack's hand, firmly gripping his upper thigh.

Naraku slapped him across the face with all his might.

The slap echoed across the bar, stopping everyone in their place. The lumberjack grabbed his cheek and laughed.

"Feisty eh?" he asked.

Naraku jumped off the stool to get away from his spilled chocolate milk. He looked at the large chocolate stain on his shirt.

"I think that means someone likes you here eh," said the second lumberjack to his friend.

"I sure hope so!" the one who'd sexually harassed Naraku said.

"I am not a WOMAN!" Naraku screeched. "I am a bishonen! A man cursed to be far to feminine for his own good! I'm a demon! I am not a piece of ass! And I am a man!"

"You sure don't look like it," Scary Ned said frowning at him.

"I'm not female and I can prove it!" Naraku screamed wildly. He grabbed his belt and began to undo it.

"Prove it in song!" Kanna suggested.

Naraku looked up at her, still tugging on his belt.

"Okay!" he nodded. "But only because my belt is malfunctioning!"

He marched up to the stage and killed the spindly spider demon singing 'Don't Let Your Mom Go Down On Me!'

He adjusted the mike and found the perfect song.

"Alright!" he nodded to himself as the funky music started.

_Though I know it ain't right-hair black as night  
To my knees it all hangs down  
When I make a noise- in a really manly voice  
Children all scream and shout  
Ugh!_

_No inhibitions- make no conditions  
My hair's a little outta line  
I'm gonna be completely direct  
Sometimes it blows my mind!  
  
The worse thing about being a bishi  
Is you're provocative to men and...  
  
Oh, oh, oh, I'm going crazy- No I'm not a lady!  
I wear men's shirts- not short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, girls gone wild-yeah, not my style!  
Oh, oh, oh, guys feel the attraction-it's a chain reaction  
It's 'cause of my hair- now is that fair?  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, despite the way I look!  
Man! I look like a woman!  
  
This man needs a break-tonight I'm gonna take  
Precautions to get out on the town  
Don't trust first glance-because I do wear pants  
Not my fault my hair hangs down  
  
The worse thing about being a bishi  
Is you're provocative to men and...  
  
Oh, oh, oh, I'm going crazy- No I'm not a lady!  
I wear men's shirts- not short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, girls gone wild-yeah, not my style!  
Oh, oh, oh, guys feel the attraction-it's a chain reaction  
It's 'cause of my hair- now is that fair?  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, despite the way I look!  
Man! I look like a woman!  
  
The worse thing about being a bishi  
Is you're provocative to men and...  
  
Oh, oh, oh, I'm going crazy- No I'm not a lady!  
I wear men's shirts- not short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, girls gone wild-yeah, not my style!  
Oh, oh, oh, guys feel the attraction-it's a chain reaction  
It's 'cause of my hair- now is that fair?  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, despite the way I look!  
Man! I look like a woman!  
  
I'm going crazy  
Can't you see it?  
Come, come, come on baby  
_I AM NOT A WOMAN!

When he was done he stood there, panting hard for a long time before jumping off the stage and marching back to the bar, glowering at the lumber jacks.

"That's a pretty song eh," said the one who'd grabbed him. "But I knew you were a man the whole time eh?"

Naraku looked at him and slowly began to edge away.

* * *

A/N I gave Naraku modern clothing because it just wouldn't be fair to stick him in his dress-- ah his "kimono" and then toss him into a bar. No one call tell him apart from a girl once he's in a kimono. No one! And as for Kanna's make up? Could it be I have something in the works for her?

No!


	13. Pretty Boys Make Me Nervous

A/N because we all need a little more Kohaku in our diets, here he is ladies and gents! Naraku's stooge! By the by, on Super Ceech's account there is a story co-authored by me, Calum and Ceech. It's called Love is blind. It's a look at what we feel to be some odder pairings, but we take it perhaps a bit too far. If you like senseless weird funny stuff, check it out. It is similar, sorta, to my 

Shenanigans of Inuyasha Gang story, so if you read and liked it, please check out Love is Blind. I have to say, I think it's way funnier.

* * *

PRETTY BOYS MAKE ME NERVOUS

Kohaku walked into the bar and looked around nervously. If Naraku heard that he'd been in a karaoke bar, he'd never live it down. If his freaky, raven haired master learned this fact, Kohaku shuddered to think of the consequences.

"Kohaku!" called a manly voice. "Over here!"

Fearing the worst, Kohaku turned his head sharply.

He closed his eyes and whimpered. His worst fears being confirmed. What was Naraku doing in a karaoke bar? Why was Kanna dressed like a cheap whore? And why were two muscle-bound lumber jacks posing and showing off their muscles for Naraku?

These were questions, who's answers terrified Kohaku more then he thought was possible.

"Kohaku!" repeated Naraku, waving. "Come sit down with us!"

Kohaku stared at him and shook his head.

Kohaku marched over to the other side of a room and sat down, laying his face in his hands. He wonder what on earth could have possessed him to think he'd be safe from Naraku anywhere?

As he sat there, wishing he hadn't come at all, he heard someone's shoes click across the floor towards him. Kohaku looked up wincing. Naraku planted his hands on his hips. He seemed bout to pout, which made Kohaku's insides quiver, and not in a good way either.

"Why don't you want to sit with us?" Naraku demanded him.

"Because!" Kohaku bellowed. "Because you make me nervous that's why!"

"Hey!" Scary Ned bellowed, marching towards them. "Don't say with words what you can say in a song! This is a karaoke bar! Not a chat room session!"

Kohaku stared at Naraku and nodded.

"I know just the song!" he snapped, marching up to the stage. He struck a dramatic pose and grabbed the mike.

"This is for a very special someone in the crowd!" he said. "This is dedicated to my boss! Naraku!"

The audience applauded. Naraku preened slightly.

Kohaku began to belt out, melodically, but forcefully (he's quite a talented lad!)

_Oh ya...  
Come on...  
Oh ya...  
Come on...  
  
If I were a dentist I would take the opportunity to look in your mouth  
Maybe if I did then I would better understand what the manly voice is about  
And if my x-ray picture gave the proper information I'd be back at the start  
'Cause every time I try and figure out you my world keeps falling apart.  
  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
When they're as pretty as you  
  
And if I was a surgeon I would do an operation to examine your sex  
I'd check to see if your chromosomes really are a Y and an X  
And if my diagnosis turned out positive I'd still be creeped out by you.  
'Cause something like you is something nature really shouldn't do!  
  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
When they're as pretty as you  
  
And when he smiles he looks so sneaky  
And when he gets near it's so freaky  
And in my award-winning dream I perform like I was on a movie screen  
As I casually pop the question  
  
Will your true gender ever be revealed to me?  
Naraku ... 'I don't think so'  
  
If I were a lawyer I would argue that, that just ain't right  
And if I were a teacher I would rewrite history so you weren't such a fright  
And if I were an architect then I'd be busy drawing up the perfect plan  
To find out if Naraku is a woman or a man!  
  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
When they're as pretty as you_

_Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Oh ya...  
Pretty boys make me nervous  
Come on...  
When they're as pretty as you_

Kohaku jumped off the stage and gave Naraku a defiant look. Daring him to kill him where he stood. It would almost be better then being his salve for life.

Naraku stared at him hard for a really long time as if trying to put words in the proper order.

Finally he said, "You really think I'm pretty?"


	14. Come With Me To Hell!

A/N It's been fun Sessyessence fans, but the countdown to the end is coming. Five more chapters are coming. So PLEASE, hand in your suggestions after the tone. It's been fun ladies and gents, and I've laughed and I've cried, and I think we've all learned something. But all good things must come to an end, and I'd rather end this officially then loose interest and leave you all wondering. To my loyal fans.... Be strong! And remember, I took the both of you to the Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement. So, get over it!

That is all. Without Further Ado, Kikyo returns to us to serenade us with her lovely voice. I hope her clay face cracks!

* * *

COME WITH ME TO HELL

Kikyo, now mostly over her... enlightened state, induced by Sesshomaru's bowl of scotch wandered back into the bar, looking for some more rough and tumble fun. As she was sitting at the bar, the Inuyasha gang came in.

"And she was just staring at me!" Inuyasha was saying. "I was completely naked and she was staring at me! I mean! She was treating me like I was some sort of object! I have never felt so, so, so....violated in my entire life!"

"Why would Kikyo be peeping on you?" Miroku wondered, stroking his chin. "When there are so many more.... manly specimens around she could goggle at?"

Sango brought her fist down on Miroku's head.

The monk winced, but looked like his mind was elsewhere. Coincidently, so was his hand.

"Lech!" Sango snapped and stormed away. Kikyo watched them through narrowed eyelids. She rose loudly form her spot at the bar, making her stool squeak across the floor. She turned and stared at Inuyasha for a long time.

Maintaining eye contact the entire time she walked to the stage and got onto it. She found the song, and began to sing, as only Kikyo can, in her tortured female rock star voice.

_Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
  
I don't like  
What he's got_

_I think it'll change that  
Inuyasha ain't all screwed up  
I'll rearrange that  
  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
  
I don't like who he sees  
I think I'll fight her  
I know their love is right_

_Time to get bitter!  
  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
  
In the end it comes down to my babbling  
And then nobody can blame  
With help from all of my dabbling  
No one left will be sane!  
  
Nobody's going to help me  
I've just got to beat him alone  
Without dirtying my hands  
And hope Inu plans  
To make all of Hell his home!  
  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
  
I don't like  
What he's got_

_I think it'll change that  
Inuyasha ain't all screwed up  
I'll rearrange that_

She jumped off the stage and began advancing on Inuyasha, who flattened himself against a table to avoid her. Whining like the terrified canine he was.

_Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell  
Come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell, come with me to Hell_

"Inuyasha!" she ordered firmly. "Come with me to hell!"

Inuyasha swallowed heavily, eyeing her nervously.

"Um.... okay!"


	15. So In Love With Two

A/N And the countdown continues sports fans. Four more chapters until Sessyessence ends. So get those requests in! I just realized the last chapter left off for this one to happen. Almost like... a plot! Ugh! That was unintentional folks. We all know Sessyessence doesn't have a plot! Well! Here ya go!

* * *

SO IN LOVE WITH TWO

"Inuyasha."

He turned to see Kagome staring at him. Her eyes wide and swimming with tears. She was clearly filled with hurt.

"I didn't mean it!" he stammered. "I just meant..." he looked back at Kikyo. "She's kind of creepy!"

"I see," Kagome whispered in a trembling voice.

"No you don't see!" Inuyasha snarled. "It's not like that Kagome!"

"Then what is it like?" Kagome demanded raggedly.

"Yes," Kikyo agreed. "What is it like Inuyasha."

Inuyasha looked back at her. His ears wilted.

"It's hard..." he said. "I mean..." he turned back to Kagome. "Kikyo and I have a history!"

"Indeed we do!" Kikyo agreed.

"But if you choose her that's what you'll be!" Sango insisted. "History!"

"Let me finish Sango!" Inuyasha snapped. "Kagome, you and I... well.... I care for you!"

"I care for you too Inuyasha," she whispered hopelessly.

Inuyasha smiled shyly. Then ploughed on. "But you see I cared about Kikyo too!"

"So she always comes first?" Kagome asked him dully.

"Yes," Kikyo answered.

"No!" Inuyasha snapped. "No! NO! What we had was.... it ended fifty years ago when I was pinned to a tree by her!"

"So you've forgotten me already have you Inuyasha?" Kikyo demanded him. Kagome looked up hopefully.

"I could never forget what we had Kikyo!" Inuyasha swore.

Inuyasha turned back to her shaking his head. He didn't see Kagome's hope vanish from her face. But he did hear her soft sob.

"Kagome!" he whimpered turning back to her. "It's not like that!"

"Come with me to hell Inuyasha!"

"Inuyasha," Kagome whispered hopelessly.

"Inuyasha!" Kikyo barked.

Inuyasha looked back and forth between the. A hole growing in his heart. Kikyo. His first love! How could he ever forget her? He knew he couldn't! No matter how hard he tried, he'd never be able to forget her. She was scary like that!

And Kagome. Kagome was a nice girl. A very nice girl. He always insulted her, but he knew it would hurt him beyond healing if he had to leave her. That and she wasn't a clay pot. He just couldn't see himself being romantic with someone made of clay.

"Miroku, help!" Inuyasha whimpered.

"I cannot," the monk said sagely. "You and you alone can make this choice!"

Inuyasha grabbed his head and moaned.

"Dammit!" he said. "This is such a hard choice! I can't even express it in words! I need music to make everyone understand!"

He stormed to the stage and found a song that fit his dark, dreary, heavy, soulful and deep problem.

"Aha!" he exclaimed. "This is exactly what I need to express my angst! Mikaila!"

Everyone in the bar shrugged and settled back into their seats, waiting for him to begin. As the music started his ears began to twitch in time to the beat.

_Heh_

_I don't know what to do!_

_My number one  
An evil witch resurrected you!  
How come I feel this way about  
My number two  
I get so nervous when I'm around you!  
I'm so in love with two  
  
I don't wanna do it!  
I would rather fight!  
But these girls want the answer tonight!  
  
If I only could just choose!  
But I can't the pick wrong one!  
I'm trying to follow rules.  
Because of you!  
You can tell me it's not right  
But in this I can only lose!  
But the problem is  
I'm so in love with two  
  
Heh  
I don't know what to do  
Heh  
Why can't I have both of you?  
  
My number one  
Kikyo I know I already agreed  
But some things still are better with  
My number two  
Kagome makes me feel ---so good  
I'm so in love with two  
  
I don't wanna do it!  
I would rather fight!  
But these girls want the answer tonight!  
  
If I only could just choose!  
But I can't the pick wrong one!  
I'm trying to follow rules.  
Because of you!  
You can tell me it's not right  
But in this I can only lose!  
But the problem is  
I'm so in love with two_

_Ooooh!_

_I'm so in love with two!_

_Heh  
I don't know what to do  
Heh  
Why can't I have both of you?  
  
Don't wanna fight  
Does it have to be tonight?  
Just wanna  
make it right  
C'mon!  
  
Ooh my number one!_

_Oh my number two!_

_Miroku tell me what I'm supposed to do!_

_My number one!_

_My number two!_

_I'm so in love with two!_

_If I only could just choose!  
But I can't the pick wrong one!  
I'm trying to follow rules.  
Because of you!  
You can tell me it's not right  
But in this I can only lose!  
But the problem is  
I'm so in love with two_

_If I only could just choose!  
But I can't the pick wrong one!  
I'm trying to follow rules.  
Because of you!  
You can tell me it's not right  
But in this I can only lose!  
But the problem is  
I'm so in love with two_

When the music stopped he jumped off the stage.

His friends surrounded him.

"Have you made a choice yet?" Kikyo demanded him.

"Yes," Inuyasha sighed heavily. "I have."

"Who do you choose?" kagome asked him.

Inuyasha took a deep breath and braced himself.

"I choose...

.... To be continued.

* * *

A/N Ahahahaha! You'll have to come back next chapter for the startling answer. No this is NOT a plot. It's.... something.... Yeah. GLITTER!


	16. Can't Fight No Moonlight!

A/N Okay, I'm getting wigged here. That's THREE chapters that sort of blend together. I want to warn everyone this is NOT the beginning of a plot! I swear. See this is why Sessyessence is ending... I'm subconsciously trying to justify this... and it worries me. Greatly! I think we would all rather say goodbye to Sessyessence then watch it develop a plot. I'm really sorry folks, but you know the drill... three more until our beloved Sessyessence is completed. Get those requests in folks! And every suggestion is more then welcome and even if it doesn't get used, I thank you for caring enough about my brain child to help me let it grow. (Brain child eh? Who's the dad?).

* * *

CAN'T FIGHT. NO MOONLIGHT

"I choose...."

"BROTHER!"

He was cut off when Sesshomaru burst through the door.

The entire bar shook.

"Uh oh Sesshomaru!" Shippou said ducking behind Kagome's legs. "Don't let him get me Kagome!"

"Brother!" Sesshomaru said. He seemed a little bit less steady on his feet, and more rumpled then usual, but still far too composed for someone who drank scotch from a bowl. "Brother! I challenge you to a duel!"

Inuyasha frowned.

"A duel? What have you been smoking?"

"I do not smoke!" Sesshomaru said proudly. "It's bad for your lungs. I pop pills."

"Well what are you popping?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Children's balloons," Sesshomaru admitted. "I know it's petty, but after I lost .... lost my.... lost my fluffy.... destroying the hopes and dreams of small children is the only thing that brings me happiness!"

A large hot tear fell down his face. Although his face was still composed.

"I know it's terrible but it's what I do to feel better about me!"

Fan girls everywhere stopped whatever they were doing and pulled out large ceremonial knives. They gashed their palms chanting

**_Force of darkness take my blood_**

**_To stem the dreadful flood_**

**_Don't let his sexy eyes get puffy_**

**_Please protect our Lord Fluffy_**

**_Let age nor blemish mar his face_**

**_Let signs of change all be erased_**

A magical gold mist appeared and flew to Sesshomaru. It wrapped around him and all signs of rumpledness or emotions immediately vanished.

"What the hell was that?" Inuyasha demanded jumping back as the golden mist dissipated.

"You should know by now brother," Sesshomaru said arrogantly. "It takes black magic to look this good!"

All the females in the bar nodded thoughtfully.

Sesshomaru looks at his bare shoulder and his lips trembled.

"Though no amount of black magic can bring back my fluffy!"

He managed to get his emotions under control so he wouldn't give his fan girls anemia.

"So I challenge you to a duel!" Sesshomaru said bravely. "For your sword! To fill the void my fluffy has left!"

Inuyasha stared at his brother.

"Here? Now?" he demanded in disbelief.

"God no!" Sesshomaru said shaking his head. "I'm drunk!"

"Oh," Inuyasha nodded. "You do seem a little emotional!"

"I'm a wreck!" Sesshomaru agreed.

The female population disagreed strongly.

"How about tomorrow?" Inuyasha suggested. "That's soon enough for me to kick your ass!"

"No, no!" Sesshomaru replied shaking his head slightly. "I'll be too hung over!"

"When then?" Inuyasha demanded irritably.

"Oh, what about the new moon?" Sesshomaru suggested with a shrug. "Rin should have been able to wring me out enough by then."

"I can't!" Inuyasha replied shaking his head.

"Why not?" Sesshomaru demanded.

Inuyasha sighed heavily.

"I get so sick of saying this!" he muttered. "It's embarrassing!"

"But you haven't told me!" Sesshomaru pointed out. "We never talk brother. There's a real communication's block! Why is that?"

"You're always trying to kill me," Inuyasha muttered.

"Oh yes!" Sesshomaru nodded. "You were talking about why you're too afraid to fight me on a new moon?"

"I'm not afraid!" Inuyasha spat. "I just can't okay?"

"Well why not?" Sesshomaru pressed..

Inuyasha growled in annoyance.

"You'd better listen okay?" he demanded.

"I always listen," Sesshomaru assured him.

"Good," Inuyasha said forcefully. "I'm only saying this once more. Ever. Period!" Inuyasha said sharply.

"I'm all ears," Sesshomaru replied. "Well actually I'm eighty percent water, but you know what I mean!"

Inuyasha shook his head of his brother and took a deep breath before launching into his explanation. "I'm a hanyou, I turn into a human during the new moon! As soon as the sun goes down!"

"Do you think I should get a manicure?" Sesshomaru asked Sago, showing her his nails. "I mean, poison can be so hard on your cuticles."

"Oh I know!" Sango nodded in agreement.

Sesshomaru realized Inuyasha was glaring at him.

"Oh I'm sorry brother were you saying something?"

"I said I was only going to say it once more! Ever! Period!" Inuyasha snapped. "You've missed your chance you big idiot!"

"Don't call me an idiot!" Sesshomaru said mildly. He waited a moment. "So, the new moon a good time for you?"

Inuyasha sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"I told you I can't!"

"Why?" Sesshomaru blinked.

"Are you kidding me?" Inuyasha demanded. "I just.... Ugh! Fine!"

He turned around and stormed towards the stage. He jumped up and grabbed the microphone roughly.

"Okay, I'll sing it then! Since I swore I would never say it again. Ever. Period!"

"Sing what?" Sesshomaru looked completely lost. Well, for him anyway!

Inuyasha didn't bother trying to answer. He just launched himself into his song.

_Under a darkened sky  
I'm gonna be screwed  
If demons are around_

_If you think that I won't fail  
Well just wait until  
'Til the sun goes down  
  
Without the moonlight, moonlight  
There's a magical feeling alright  
It will steal my power tonight  
  
I can try to resist_

_I can even make a fist.  
But I know, but I know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
I'll get ripped apart!  
You know, but do they know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
No...  
I can't fight now...  
They're gonna tear me apart!  
  
There's no escaping this  
Once a gentle breeze  
Weaves it's spell across me  
No matter what you think  
It won't be too long  
'Til he breaks my arms...  
  
Without the moonlight, moonlight  
We'll be running all night!  
Feel it sap your strength tonight!_

_I can try to resist  
I can even make a fist.  
But I know, but I know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
I'll get ripped apart!  
You know, but do they know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
No...  
I can't fight now...  
No matter what I do  
Sesshomaru is gonna get to you  
  
I won't try, I'm never gonna win  
  
Without the moonlight, moonlight  
There's a magical feeling alright  
It will make me useless tonight!  
  
I can try to resist  
I can even make a fist.  
But I know, but I know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
I'll get ripped apart!  
You know, but do they know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
No...  
I can't fight now...  
  
I can try to resist  
I can even make a fist._

_But I know, but I know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
I'll get ripped apart!  
You know, but do they know  
That I can't fight. No moonlight  
No...  
I can't fight now...  
  
It's gonna rip us apart!_

Sesshomaru looked up from his finger nails.

"I'm sorry brother," he apologized. "Could you repeat that?"

* * *

A/N I figured there had to be some external force keeping Sessy young and emotionless! Yeah. I updated real quick eh? The next chapter probably won't be up for a year, knowing me.... stars entranced at some white paint for a year.


	17. InuYasha!

A/N I'm on the ball! Ladies and gents. Another one. I'm in a bit of a rush, I want to get these all turned out before school starts, and I don't exactly have a lot of time... less then a week in fact. I realized not nearly enough chicks were singing. Kikyo doesn't count. She's a pot. So here we go! Kagome! Singing angst-fully about her darling Inu-kins!

* * *

INU-YASHA

"I need a drink!" Inuyasha snapped jumping off the stage. He brushed passed the others and plunked himself down at the bar.

"My brother needs to love of a good woman," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully. He patted Miroku on the shoulder. "You take care of him young lady!"

With that Sesshomaru swept out of the bar.

"Great, now I have to compete with Miroku for Inuyasha," Kagome muttered.

"What was that Kagome" Sango asked her friend.

"I said 'great now I have to sell tofu for casha," Kagome said nervously. Sango frowned but shrugged it off.

They all went to sit at the bar with Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was already drinking something.

"I'll have what he's having," Kagome said resting her chin in her hands.

"Geez Kagome!" Inuyasha said giving her a glare. "Do you have to copy everything I do?"

"I didn't mean to copy I just wanted a drink and that looked good!" Kagome said in annoyance as Scary Ned gave her a glass. "Geez don't bite my head off!"

She drank all of whatever ti was and handed it back to Scary Ned.

"I'll have another one!" she said firmly.

"You drank that a little fast Kagome," Inuyasha said nastily. "You're not a drunk are you?"

"I'm just thirsty is all!" Kagome said as reasonably as she could. She thanked Scary Ned politely as he handed her another drink.

She looked around the bar and started.

"Eek!" she squealed. "Inuyasha look!" she whispered point to the space in front of the stage. "There's a dead demon their!"

She gabbed his arm in fear.

"Stop coming onto me!" Inuyasha barked, his cheeks flaming bright red.

"I am not coming onto you!" Kagome said glaring at him. She released his arm. "I was scared you insensitive jerk!"

"If you're so scared then go back to your own time!" Inuyasha said loftily. "I'm sick of you getting in the way all the time anyway!"

"I am not in the way!" kagome snapped.

"Ya are too!" Inuyasha snapped back. "I always have to save you!"

"You're an insensitive jerk!" Kagome said tearfully.

"Why don't you go cry to Kouga!" Inuyasha suggested snidely.

"Urgh!" Kagome screamed stomping her foot. "I don't like Kouga you idiot!"

She couldn't understand the attack from out of the blue.

"You gonna go back through the well?" Inuyasha taunted.

Kagome jumped to her feet and glared at him for a long time. Trying to figure out why he was being so mean to her.

"Sit boy!" she said with devastating calm. She calmly walked to the stage, pointedly stepping over the dead demon which had freaked her out earlier. She stepped onto the stage with an air of great importance and grabbed the microphone.

"Ah hem!" she said clearing her throat. "I'd like to dedicate this song to a very special someone!"

_I've felt cheated by you over and over again  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end  
Look at me now, will I ever learn?  
I don't know how but I suddenly I'm in hell!  
Time to go back down the well!  
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh  
  
Inu-Yasha, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?_

_Inu-Yasha, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I went to my own time  
But living without you feels like crime!  
Why, why did you ever let me go?  
Inu-Yasha, now I really know,  
My my, I could never let you go.  
  
I've been angry and sad about the things that you do  
I can't count all the times that well I've gone through  
And when I go, when you cover the well  
I think you know that I won't be away too long  
I'll get over whatever's wrong!_

_Just one look and I can hear a bell ring  
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh  
  
Inu-Yasha, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?_

_Inu-Yasha, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I went to my own time  
But living without you feels like crime!  
Why, why did you ever let me go?  
Inu-Yasha, even if I say  
Bye bye, leave me now or never  
In-Yasha, it's a game we play  
Bye bye doesn't mean forever  
  
Inu-Yasha, here I go again  
My my, how can I resist you?_

_Inu-Yasha, does it show again?  
My my, just how much I've missed you  
Yes, I went to my own time  
But living without you feels like crime!  
Why, why did you ever let me go?  
Inu-Yasha, now I really know  
My my, I could never let you go!_

Solemnly she dismounted the stage and strode towards the bar. She finished her drink and set it down.

"Sango, Miroku, Shippou, I'll see you later," she said with great dignity.

She turned to the silver haired dog demon she'd been fighting with previously.

"Inuyasha," she said with quiet dignity. "Sit boy!"

She strode away as he was slammed into the ground.


	18. Sit Me Baby One More Time!

A/N When I said I was going to try and get these turned out before schools tarted, what I really meant was I was going to try and get these turned out before my hair turns white! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! I know! Don't hate me because I procrastinate! Everyone already does! And it's still winding down folks. Second last chapter! Da da dun! Enjoy.

* * *

SIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

Inuyasha watched with a blank face as Kagome stormed out fo the bar. Not a trace of his emotions flickered across his face as the door swung shut behind Kagome. He pushed himself up from the ground, resting on his knees as if he didn't even have the strength to finish getting up. Puzzlement clear in his eyes.

"Well," Kikyo said. She wrapped an arm around Inuyasha's waist. "Now we can be together!"

Inuyasha let out a faint, unhappy canine whimper.

"Why'd she go?" Inuyasha demanded.

"You were being really mean to her!" Sango pointed out like it should be obvious.

"Yeah but I'm always like that!" Inuyasha protested. "That's nothing new! And why does she go back to her own time anyway? What's so great there?"

"It is where her family is," Miroku pointed out sagely. "And you were a jerk!"

"I'm always a jerk when Kikyo is around!" Inuyasha snapped. "Clay brings out the worst in me!"

"Hey!" Kikyo glared at Inuyasha, affronted by his callous statement.

"That is true," Miroku agreed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "You do seem to be at your worst when lady Kikyo is around."

"Yeah," Sango agreed nodding. "It's weird, it's like she's got a negative effect on you!"

"It must be because she's his old girlfriend!" Shippou said with great authority. "After all! Inuyasha really likes Kagome and I know he's all confused about his feelings for her!"

Much to the shock of his friends, instead of beating the foxling, Inuyasha could only nod, looking mournfully at the door where kagome had exited.

He sighed heavily.

"I don't even mind it when she sits me anymore!" he admitted under his breath to his friends. "It's kind of like saying 'I like you,' now."

Sango Miroku and Shippou shared a look, greatly disturbed by this news. They had not yet received the memo that causing someone to slam to the ground with enough force to fracture bones and leave creators was a sign of affection. Kikyo, who thought it was acceptable to ask her crush to come and twist with her in eternal torment in the fiery pits of hell with her, nodded thoughtfully.

Hesitantly Miroku ventured a suggestion.

"Maybe you should tell lady kagome how you feel," Miroku suggested gently, taking a step back so he wasn't within arm range is Inuyasha didn't like that idea.

"Yeah!" Inuyasha said nodding. "I mean kagome's pretty okay most of the time ain't she? I'm sure she'll understand!"

Inuyasha jumped off the ground and marched purposely towards the door.

"I'll make her understand!" he declared, punching a fist into his hand. "She'll have tog et it if I nail the well shut!"

Miroku moaned and put his face in his hands. Sango patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme Inuyasha?" Shippou demanded, jumping in front of the determined dog demon. "I mean I'm a little kid and I know that's not the way to tell kagome how you feel!"

"Oh and how should I do that?" Inuyasha scoffed, picking Shippou up by the tail.

"Well clearly you've got to tell her with song!" Shippou replied like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Oh yeah," Inuyasha nodded. "I already explained being in love with Kagome and Kikyo in a song and how I can't fight... maybe Kagome will understand better if I sing again!"

He dropped Shippou to the ground and strode over him on his way to the stage. He found the appropriate song and began to sing. The soft mellow strains of his melodious voice made Kagome, down the road, pause in her hasty retreat.

_Oh Ka-gome_

_How was I supposed to know_

_That something wasn't right here_

_Oh Ka-gome_

_Why do you always go_

_When something just ain't right, yeah_

_Tell me how you want it to be_

_Tell me baby 'cause a demon needs to know now, oh because_

_This guessing game is killing me_

_I must confess I'm a bit naive_

_Kikyo and you, I'm in a bind_

_Give me a sign_

_Sit me baby one more time_

_Oh Ka-gome_

_The reason I fight is you_

_Do you need to be reminded_

_Oh pretty baby_

_When we first met I tried to kill you_

_I'm glad that didn't happen_

_So show me how you want it to be_

_Tell me baby 'cause a demon needs to know now, oh because_

_This guessing game is killing me_

_I must confess I'm a bit naive_

_Kikyo and you, I'm in a bind_

_Give me a sign_

_Sit me baby one more time_

_Oh Ka-gome, what am I supposed to know?_

_Oh pretty baby, I shouldn't have let you go_

_I must confess, that my thickheadedness is killing me now_

_Don't you know I'm still naive?_

_Kagome pleas stay here_

_In feudal times!_

_Sit me baby one more time_

_This guessing game is killing me_

_I must confess I'm a bit naive_

_Kikyo and you, I'm in a bind_

_Give me a sign_

_Sit me baby one more time_

Inuyasha looked around the bar and sighed. His ears dropping sadly he jumped off the stage.

"I guess it wasn't enough," Inuyasha sighed, trudging towards his friends. "I mean, maybe I should have nailed the well shut, dragged her here, tied her to a chair and then sung to her! Then she'd understand!"

"Maybe," Miroku nodded.

Kikyo had to sniff, back a tear upon hearing this. 'He never dragged me places and tied me to chairs!' she thought mournfully. 'Inuyasha really does love her more then he loved me!'

The door flew open to the bar, and there stood Kagome, a strange light in her narrowed eyes.

"Inuyasha!" she barked, marching towards him. "Sit boy!"

Inuyasha's face transformed into a look of pure elation and joy right before he was slammed painfully into the ground. Just to make sure Inuyasha understood just how much she truly cared for him kagome proved her undying love to him the only way she knew how!

"Sit boy!"

Thud!

"Sit boy!"

Thud.

"Sit boy!"

Thud.

"Sit boy!"

Thud.

'Wow,' Inuyasha thought. Woozy from pain and getting slammed into the floor. 'Kagome really does love me!'

* * *

A/N: o.O


	19. It's Raining Shards!

A/N: This is it. The Last Chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Bye the way, Hanyou Grl, you rock! Thanx! Over a hundred now! (gives devil horns but not in a non Christian way otherwise Spacewolf's mama will kill her because her mom is just like that sometimes even though Spacey's mother will never really know that she does in her fanfics, but that's not really the point now is it? Sop stop bothering me! My fic my rules! Nyah)

P.S School computers SUCK! Sorry about the format. I can't convert it to html and I can send it home to myself in an email either becuase the computer hates me and I can't find my disks... so yeah! Enjoy it, with it's butchered format!  
o.O

* * *

IT'S RAINING SHARDS

"That was a lot of sits," Shippou commented, sipping on his sake. Of course he was allowed to drink alcohol. It was a karaoke bar after all! Geez! If the kid can risk his life fighting demon's he's allowed to get drink! Cha!  
"Indeed it was my friend," Sango agreed in a sage tone. "Indeed it was!" She sipped her sake. The entire bar was watching Inuyasha, as he lay in a crumpled heap in the dent he'd made in the ground with the string of sits.  
Kagome sat casually beside him, waiting for him to wake up.  
"Come on Inuyasha!" she urged. "We've got to get going! It's getting late! I need to get back so I can get my education and not end up on welfare!"  
Inuyasha could only moan and twitch.  
"Here!" Naraku said, grabbing Miroku's staff. He poked Inuyasha in the back.  
"Uuugh!" Inuyasha groaned.  
Poke. Poke.  
"Nyuugh!"  
Poke. Poke.  
"Fedubub!"  
Pokepokepoke!  
"Afleh!"  
POKE!  
Inuyasha groaned and rolled over. He glared at Naraku who handed the staff to Kagome and tried to look innocent. He only managed to look girly and vapid. It was a good look for Naraku.  
Kagome helped Inuyasha sit up. As he rose, his cheeks went bright red, remembering how forcefully she'd shown her affections for him minutes earlier.  
He knew Kagome liked him, he'd just never known she felt that way about him! It was kind of flattering, in a spine crunching sort of way!  
"Come Shippou!" Kagome said, tugging Inuyasha to his feet. "We'd better get going!"  
"Aw Kagome!" Shippou whined.  
"Can't I sing one song?"  
"Well okay!" she agreed. "Just one!"  
"Yay!"  
The cheerful little kitsune landed on the stage and struck a dramatic pose. Everyone oohed and awed over how cute he was with his giant head and tiny feet and hands.  
"Alrighty!" he said taking a deep breath.

_It's a small world after all_

_It's a small world after all_

_It's a small world after all_

_It's a small, small world_

_It's a world of laughter_

_- A world of tears It's a world of...  
_"Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!"  
Shippou had to jump off stage to avoid Inuyasha's attack. A second later the stage was reduced to rubble as everyone in the bar threw something, be it weapons,. Tomatoes, demon powers or panties at the stage. It was reduced to a smoking heap in seconds.  
"Not that song!" Inuyasha screamed raggedly.  
Shippou jumped onto the smoking heap.  
"Alright, alright sheesh!" he grumbled. "Cripes! Everyone's a critique!"  
He took a deep breath and began again.  
  
_Demons are rising_

_Decency is getting low_

_According to all sources_

_Feudal Japan's the place to go  
  
Cause tonight for the first time_

_(first time)_

_Inform all the bards_

_(tell the bards)_

_For the first time in history_

_It's gonna start raining shards!  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
  
I'm gonna go out_

_I'm gonna let myself get_

_Every little bit_

_It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Every specimen  
  
Dog, wolf, thunder and flea_

_Most of whom are clearly bishi  
  
Kami bless Kagome_

_Inuyasha too Guide_

_Miroku from heaven_

_And help Sango this pain to get through  
  
Kami teach the angels_

_To burn down the sky_

_So that these two women_

_Could find their perfect guy  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
  
I feel demonic auras moving in_

_Battles to begin_

_Defeat the thunder_

_Shards in their head_

_Don't need the Shikon when you're dead_

_(Don't need the Shikon)  
  
Kami bless Kagome_

_Inuyasha too_

_Guide Miroku from heaven_

_And help Sango this pain to get through  
  
Kami teach the angels_

_To burn down the sky_

_So that these two women_

_Could find their perfect guy  
  
Ooh, it's raining Shards, yeah_

_Demons are rising_

_Decency is getting low_

_According to all sources_

_Feudal Japan's the place to go  
  
Cause tonight for the first time_

_Inform all the bards_

_For the first time in history I_

_t's gonna start raining Shards!  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
  
Dog, wolf, thunder and flea_

_Most of whom are clearly bishi  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
  
It's raining Shards Demon'll get ya!  
It's raining Shards!  
Ah man!  
_  
"Yay Shippou!" Kagome exclaimed happily clapping. "Yay! You're the best Shippou!"  
All the females agreed, squealing and cheering. There was a grumble and general consciences among the males that Shippou needed to die. They began sharpening their axes and stroking guns lovingly.  
"When that little brat least suspects!" Inuyasha growled, sharpening Tetsusiaga.  
"I say we defenestrate him!" Naraku glared.  
"That's a ghastly ting to do to a man!" Miroku exclaimed, staring at Naraku in horror.  
"It means throw him out a window," Naraku said rolling his eyes. "Oh."  
And thus as the females cooed over the cute little boy, the males gathered behind the bar and plotted how best to ice the little wiener. Many a foul and wicked plot was hatched to dispatch the sickeningly cute kitsune. And Shippou, was none the wiser!

* * *

A/N Well, that's it ladies and gentlemen! The nineteen chapter of Sessyessence. We've been through a lot. A rhyming flame, a proposed plot, which you guys never got back to me on.... tons of songs and all sorts of other good times. We saw Kikyo head bang and Sessy pop pills, Inuyasha rap while naked and Naraku sing Shania Twain. All in all I couldn't be more satisfied...  
**_Sesshomaru:_**__ Hold on hold on! The title is Sessyessence. Sesshomaru and Evanescence! I haven't sung an Evanescence song since the first few chapters! You can't end this fic like this you moron! I haven't found my fluffy yet! And nineteen chapters? What kind of freak ends a plot with story at nineteen chapters? Make it an even twenty!  
**_Super Ceech:_**__ Here here! Especially with Shippou!

**_Calum the Angel:_**__ I respect that this is your fic and you have the right to do whatever you want with it. But if you don't....shakes fists as only Calum can  
**_Spacewolf:_**__ cringes away from her enraged friends and bishi who exists only in the imagination of dreamers. Well reviewers? Should I add one more chapter? Make Sessyessence and even twenty? And should Sessy and his fluffy be reunited? I mean I am compulsive and I do like round numbers, especially ones divisible by ten... (please don't ask!) So the ball is in your court? Do we want a Sessy medley?


	20. Sessy Medley!

A/N So it's been a while and I've only got three reviews from you guys telling me to add a 20th chapter. I'm just glad I was going to do the medley whether you wanted me to or not! I'm going to clean up the format a little bit on it, but other then that, this truly is the end of Sessyessence.

* * *

SESSY MEDLEY

Sesshomaru plopped himself down at the bar looking utterly forlorn and depressed. He exuded such a presence of sorrow that everyone immediately felt their tears prickle with sorrow.

Even Inuyasha who hated, loathed, despised and just plain didn't like his brother was touched by the tragic, defeated figure of the bowed Sesshomaru.

"What's wrong?" he demanded harshly. "It's not like I care or anything!"

"Oh brother," Sesshomaru said slowly and sadly. "Someday you'll find something worth holding onto for all your life. And you'll risk everything for it, but if you're not ready you might loose it. Someday the most wonderful thing in your life will come along. It hope you recognize it when it does. So you'll never know this aching sorrow in my heart."

Sesshomaru bowed his head in deep contemplation for the path not taken. For his true love which he had not appreciated. For the fluffy he'd taken for granted.

"I just wish," Sesshomaru said. He sighed heavily. For a moment losing his heart to continue. "I just wish that I had it here. That I could hold in my hands one last time and just tell it how much I truly, truly love it!"

"I find talking about it always helps me with my problems," Kagome said suggested.

"Naw," Inuyasha replied. "Senseless violence is the only way to be!"

"I like to lock myself in a room and do nothing," Naraku offered helpfully. "It adds to my dark and broody persona."

"I'm not a dark and broody person," Sesshomaru said dolefully. "I'm more of a smiting those who have angered me kind of person."

"Well, I still think you need to express yourself," Sango advised. "Maybe through angsty poetry, or depressing songs, or writing short one shots fics where everyone dies!"

Sesshomaru nodded, considering the possibilities carefully.

"I suppose, since music tames the wild beast," Sesshomaru said thoughtfully. "I should sing!"

"What does taming a wild beast have to do with anything?" Shippou asked, leaning over to Kana.

"Just go with it kid," she answered.

"To properly express my feelings and exorcize them in a healthy environment, without smashing open the skulls fo the nearest fools-" Everyone took a deep gulp and three steps back. "-I shall do what all great men do in such situations! Sing folk songs!"

_My fluffy lies over the ocean  
My fluffy lies over the sea  
My fluffy lies over the ocean  
Oh bring back my fluffy to me  
  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me, to me  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me  
  
Last night as I lay on my pillow  
Last night as I lay on my bed  
Last night as I lay on my pillow  
I dreamed that my fluffy was dead  
  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me, to me  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me  
  
Oh blow ye the winds o'er the ocean  
And blow ye the winds o'er the sea  
Oh blow ye the winds o'er the ocean  
And bring back my fluffy to me  
  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me, to me  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me  
  
The winds have blown over the ocean  
The winds have blown over the sea  
The winds have blown over the ocean  
And brought back my fluffy to me  
  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me, to me  
Bring back, bring back  
Bring back my fluffy to me_

One fat tear slid out from underneath Sesshomaru's long, luxurious lashes.

"They haven't brought back my fluffy yet though," he sighed. It was a watery and wounded sound. Everyone crowded around Sesshomaru to give him a big hug. As the large crowd took turns embracing the Lord of the Western lands to make him feel better, (a few fangirls got two hugs) the bar room door was flung open.

"M'lord, you are saddened!" Jaken cried. He rushed forward, swinging his staff left and right, beating people off his precious Sesshomaru. "Back you beasts back!" he cried at the fangirls. "M'lord, it is I Jaken, your faithful servant! Please m'lord, are you hurt? Shall I kiss it better? Rub your feet or lick your shoes?"

Sesshomaru shuddered, his sadness forgotten for the moment.

"Jaken," he said sounding much more like his old self. "Why could it not have been you who was lost?"

Sesshomaru stood up abruptly, knocking his stool back. Everyone scattered, fearing the wrath of the bishi. He stalked towards the stage, looking relatively like his old-self, and yet, somehow incomplete without his fluffy.

"Jaken." Sesshomaru made a face and seemed unable to finish that train of thought.

_Long-lost words whisper slowly to me_

_Still can't find what keeps Jaken here_

_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_

_Jaken, I know you're still there_

_Stalking me, haunting me_

_I can feel you pull me down_

_Sneering at you, loathing you_

_I won't let you pull me down_

_Hunting me, I can smell you - ugh!_

_Your voice pounding in my head_

_Stalking me, haunting me_

_I can feel you pull me down_

_Craving me, degrading me_

_Watching me_

_I can feel you pull me down_

_Fearing you, loathing you_

_I won't let you pull me down!_

"Oh m'lord," Jaken moaned, fanning himself. "Oh m'lord when you sing about me I swoon m'lord! You make me go positively weak at the knees!"

"GET 'EM!"

This command came from a fangirl who had taken charge of the others. They all pounced on Jaken, beating him into the ground with chairs and baseball bats and various oversized novelty weapons they happened to have in their back pockets.

When the smoke cleared and they backed off, breathing heavily, they revealed the mangled pile of mush that was Jaken.

Kagome ran forward and dropped beside the small toad man. She placed her ear over his mouth to listen for breathing. She gasped and drew back, eyes going wide. She covered her mouth with her hands.

"He's, he's dead!"

There was a pregnant silence which filled the air after this declaration before the tavern, nay Japan, nay, the WORLD, burst into joyous, raucous unbridled elation at the news that Jaken was dead.

As if this wasn't enough good news, a minute alter the barroom door was flung open again. There, framed in the doorway, stood Rin, in her hands was the fluffy!

Sesshomaru let out a happy cry and threw himself forward. Slashing his way to the door, killing a few unimportant generic demons. He collapsed to his knees and with trembling hands reached out for his fluffy.

Shyly Rin placed it in his hands.

With a sudden movement, Sesshomaru yanked the fluffy to his chest, stroking it against his cheek.

"Oh my fluffy," he moaned happily, stroking it as if he could never do it enough. "How I've missed you! I'll never let you go again!"

He turned to the girl who'd returned his fluffy.

"Rin!" he sighed happily, stroking her face with one clawed hand. "Thank you. You've made me the happiest man alive!"

"Are you really happy then Fluffy-sama?" Rin asked eagerly.

"I really am," Sesshomaru nodded. He gave her a considering look. "You know, you're not half bad looking for a mortal," he said thoughtfully. "You're still sort of young though." He frowned, and then his face cleared. "Tell ya what! As soon as you hit puberty I'll be all over you like a drunk prom date!"

"Okay Fluffy-sama," Rin said happily, oblivious to the implications of that statement. Sesshomaru stood up and with trembling hands resumed the fluffy to it's place of glory.

There was a collective sigh as fangirls, and the still important, though not highly recognized fanboys melted into a collective puddle of sheer bliss at the sight of their sex god.

"Oh I feel so much better now!" Sesshomaru sighed happily. "You know, I never realized just how my image effects the world. I have fangirls bleeding themselves dry for me, killing toad men for me, and even melting into a puddle right here in a Karaoke bar in the Feudal Time. It's kind of ironic, how I, Sesshomaru, sexiest man in all of the Western Kingdom have accumulated such a gathering."

He stroked his fluffy in slow, thoughtful, erotic motions. (Don't ask how.)

"Losing my fluffy has made me realized just how important I truly am!" He nodded thoughtfully. "I need to sing again!"

He nodded and marched towards the stage once more, careful not to step in the fangirl/fanboy puddle.

"I'd like to dedicate this song, to everyone who's ever been a fangirl," Sesshomaru said in a mellow, sexy voice. "Whether your rabid or not. Stalker material or just interested, and even the fanboys, this song is for you! Mostly for the fangirls because I don't swing that way."

_Perfect by nature,  
An icon of self-indulgence.  
Just what we all need:  
More fluffies in a world that...  
  
...Revolves entirely around Sessy.  
I have no shame, 'cause I am Sessy!  
Somehow I've become every fangirl's idol!  
  
Look, here I come now.  
Bow down and stare in wonder.  
Oh, how you love me!  
No flaws, I'm not pretending.  
But now I know I....  
  
Chorus  
... Revolve entirely around Sessy!  
You don't know how you should worship me!  
Somehow I've become every fangirl's idol!  
  
Serene as a mask, god I'm fine!  
Can't find yourself lost in my shine!  
  
You know the truth now.  
You know who I am  
and you'll love me forever more!  
  
Chorus  
Life revolves entirely around Sessy!_

_You don't know how you should worship me!  
Somehow I've become every fangirl's idol!  
  
Life revolves entirely around Sessy!  
I'm not real and you can't have me.  
Somehow I've become every fangirl's idol!_

Everyone burst into thunderous applause, screaming and cheering for Sesshomaru. He graced them all with a faint smile, which actually unnerved them since he was showing emotion. But it was still pretty.

"I hate to break up this little love fest," Scary Ned said carefully. "But it's closing time!"

"Awww!" the entire bar crowd whined. "Do we hafta?"

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here," Scary Ned said sadly.

Sadly the abr began to shuffle towards the door, but it was flung open by a breathless Kouga.

"WAIT!" he wailed desperately. "We need one last song!"

"Well that seems fair," Kagome nodded. "A happy note to end on!"

"Who should sing it though?" Shippou asked curiously.

"Well obviously we all should!" Kouga said flicking his ponytail over one shoulder. "That's why me and my men haven't been ack since our cameo in chapter five with Go-Go. Someone had to gather up all the unimportant but loveable characters for our finale!"

He nodded and in through the bar door the unimportant but lovable characters filed in. Hiten, Monten, Juromaru, Kageromaru, Yura of the hair, Gatenmaru, Jenegi and various others. The bar was now packed at this point with all the demons squeezed inside. Kikyo had even returned. She took up position on one side of Inuyasha, much to his unease.

"Alright!" Naraku shouted over the din in his deep voice. Everyone was silenced immediately. "I am now passing out song sheets." He did so. Now everyone had a song sheet. "Are we ready?"

"Yup!" they all nodded. In perfect unison I might add.

How?

They're just talented like that!

_We are from TV (it's on!)  
We're all kinds of demons you see (Get up and party!)  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
Always as one, no matter the weather  
As we walk on by.  
And some can fly just like birds on a feather  
And we'll tell no lie.  
All of the people around us they say  
Can they be that hot?  
Just let me state for the record  
InuYasha crew gives it all they got!  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
Living life is fun and we've just begun to get our share  
Of the Shikon Shard  
High hopes we had for the future  
Now that Jaken's scarred  
No we don't get depressed thanks to our awesome hair  
Walk tall, talk big and do it with flair  
And you won't got wrong oh no  
This is our golden rule  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!  
  
We are from TV  
We're all kinds of demons you see  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!_

_We are from TV (yaaaaay)  
We're all kinds of demons you see (most are actually bishi)  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!_

_We are from TV (yaaaaay)  
We're all kinds of demons you see (most are actually bishi)  
We are from TV  
Get up everybody and sing!_

As the last notes of their perfectly in tune singing floated up to the heavens, Kikyo was crushed by a meteor and died.

The End.

* * *

A/N, Lemme see, killed Jaken, Killed Kikyo, found the Fluffy, made it to twenty chapters, and made all my favorite characters OOC. All in all I think I've accomplished everything I set out to do with Sessyessence.

It's funny how making meatball subs can spawn something so lovely isn't it? Really makes you think... O.o

Lists of all the songs ruined.... eh heh... altered for this fic!

Chapter One: I'm Immortal - My Immortal

Chapter Two: Jaken Killed Me Inside - Wake Me Up Inside

Chapter Three: Holding Out For A Hanyou - Holding Out For A Hero

Chapter Four: I Can Be Your Hero - Same (Jaken, Enrique Iglesias is there really a difference?) Chapter Five: Go-Go - Same (I remember B-4-4's hair as being borderline anime to begin with!) Chapter Six: Rock Naraku - Rock This Country

Chapter Seven: Dumb - Numb

Chapter Eight: Naked - Same (Jaken naked, now that'll be hard to explain in therapy!)

Chapter Nine: It was just Who Let the Dogs Out, (I had been flamed and was feeling small and insignificant inside because I was wounded)

Chapter Ten: I devised a plot for this fic ebcuase that's apparently a weakness of mine. No one ever got back to me on it though....

Chapter Eleven: I'm On My Way To Hell - Highway To Hell

Chapter Twelve: Man, I Look Like A Woman - Man, I Feel Like A Woman.

Chapter Thirteen: Pretty Boys Make Me Nervous - Pretty Girls Make Me Nervous

Chapter Fourteen: Come With Me To Hell - Raise A Little Hell

Chapter Fifteen: So In Love With Two - Same (It just worked!)

Chapter Sixteen: Can't Fight. No Moonlight - Can't Fight The Moonlight

Chapter Seventeen: InuYasha - Mamma Mia

Chapter Eighteen: Sit Me Baby One More Time - Hit Me Baby One More Time (Ever wonder if Brittany Spears likes pain? It's a thought)

Chapter Nineteen: It's Raining Shards - It's Raining Men

Chapter Twenty:

1) My Fluffy Lies Over The Ocean - My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean

2) Stalker Song - Haunted

3) Every Fangirl's Idol - Everybody's Idol

4) We Are From TV - We Are Family

And that, ladies and gentlemen is Sessyessence.


End file.
